2012年9月16日 星期日

Bipolar Poetry From the Mind of a Manic-Depressive Person


In my never ending search for sanity I've begun writing down thoughts in poetic form. I've included some of my personal works below, see if you can find the differences from the other compositions you have read.

Watched the colored clouds preening
Intersection of those pupils
Caresses the cornea to post visions
I long to tell you a trillion things
They're said through our connected eye strings
My soul no longer tumbles
There's a focal point to dance around
No longer the two are forced to tumble
I saw you that day

The desolate find an early release
Reconciliation from the world of the living
To have the pain cut short
Without feeling the pleasure, awaiting
A certainty that already is
Brought from the recesses of mind
A cold, dark warmth

God is an idea
Comes mistake form, missing meaning
Euphoria of love, drugs, sex, art
The oneness of us all
Part even for the small
We are sacred, luminous beings
Caged and freed in animal bodies

The day that was night
Any day in any way
A familiar touch
I thought let me down to stray
Cracked through the eggshell
Depression order of a general clay
Melts away our meat-walls
Seeing us, at once

Madness
Conceiving so much
Constructing so little
Minute maps
That aren't drawn in time
Never to be explored

Jump into the black pit
You'll never come out the same
Then behold the Light of her Name
Sheeted waves of warm, red stature
Passing through an infinite spiral tube
Orgasms and death soothe the creature
The moment caught
We mingled that day, seeing

Great towers of steel forcefully gestated
Lure onlookers abroad
Tall owed by a wanting of intensity
Masses peer into the visions of pixels
Varying degrees of ballistics envelope the rider
An awkward palate of physics
In this manner, senses are becoming
Manifest embroideries
Birth of this splendor
Behold a venture of death
Imprints itself on the subconscious
Precursor to rippling flesh

A sacred, assuring thought
I take dreams off a boundless board
Images of color give to me
An explosive reward

Shall I expose myself?
Let others see my living innards
Sliced from toe to gullet
A horrific, bloody engine
Supplements and traps within
Disgusting other with bluntness
Heart giving, taking life fluid
A shrunken liver
Ridiculed for excessive energy
Dissipated unto others
Stomach eager to digest
Send awareness to my mind
Fluctuate fills to indulge
Seeds sown in an unsure breath
Keep the machine running

Scripted pain splashed on ground wood
Put on a mental meal plate
So many stuffing contents down
Indifferent, lifeless numbers and letters
I cannot ingest this factual dogma
My sustenance bile's forth, ingesting ways
And this is meant to help me
Cleanse me of wrong doings

People will never know
Never the experience of others
Dramatic, random worlds
Born into, but pliable
Connection is fathomed
Portrayed as a smile
Or a grimace

Pulled Decision found to be
Neutral, swaying
Seconds spontaneously
Tossing thoughts, actions
Every choice runs
Through space, time passions

Conjured deception
Shadows from the dark
Conceived in hate
Mistaken for power
Phantoms of energy
Caress the wounds of old
They stretch out to kill the mockingbird
Cut the wings to bloodied hate
See strings ripped asunder
Drops of violence

Death by numbers
Millions, billions
One to part from the world
Far flung dreams are captured
Day to day, every second
Long to splash in the pool
Is a ripple the only consequence?
Faces, souls, actions, cast
Into an anecdotal pool of remembrance
Pain, death, joy, orgasm
Meld into every facet
Fear is forgotten

Toss aside casual greeting
Delve into an episode without footing
Your arm is longer then eyes can see
No slowing down to see the skins sheeting
Puncture wounds, torn apart
Upsetting the gaze, no sparks to deem
We burn a light our own
The length those eyes can see

Let go
We can fly
Don't die
In remorseful tears
Toss energy to and fro
Expending while expanding
Let go

Which is the greater tragedy?
To be born with gift and suffer
The consequences of madness
Or to be born gift less
Never to know the madness

A feeling appeared
I know it's there
Felt it, knew it
Circles of consciousness
Symmetric bonds of gravity
Glimpses of hope

Cut into your heart
Deeper than thought
Left alone to see this place
Nothing here but empty disgrace
Cuts up your heart
Cuts up your heart
Cuts of your heart?
Moments of blood is what he is fed
Moments of red is what she'll dread

Lists of lives draw together
Plotted on empty boards
Pain brings out life
A sharp spike of emotion
Contrast to the light wings

The flesh does what pleases
Leaves absent matter reeling
Spilled between the partitions
Life's one continual experience
States of inebriation, clarity
Longed for that which
Is already there
Cast into spectrum's

To find god in music
The bass, angels
The treble, prayers
Lyrical prose
The divine saviors

End it all of a sudden
Or leave random events
Lost in time
Unnoticed, forgotten
The difference, negligible
One ant among billion
Of an ancient god
Defiant among many

Curiosity is painful
Let go of this bar
Cold lies, sheathed in dogma
Greased in the fear of disrespect
Struggled to grapple on
You'll slip down, down
Swallowed a curse I love

I want to tell you everything
These minute thoughts
Last lifetimes in my mind
More precious then diamonds
Lost in the dusts of coal
These glimpses of my form
Could open a mountain of gods between us

This pain
Wanting to live
Each second, each lifetime
Perfectly, I want a new story
Where the villain lives
True justice
Of an uncertain world

Direction, sustain:an illusion
Lives are but a series of movements
Unplanned for thoughts,feelings
Embrace the prehistoric call
Rejecting society
Previously designed coordinated tenures

That's just some of the things that randomly pop into my head everyday. When people read them, often I see them wincing or looking extremely confused. Sometimes when I look into the eyes of a bipolar person, I see the reflection of my own madness.




Alexander Dott is a bipolar man searching for ways to maintain sanity while surrounded by sane people. He finds and researches the habits of other manic-depressives through via an interesting and humorous method he muses about at: http://gaming-on-computers.blogspot.com/





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